La Classifica · An Official Ranking

THE TOWELS
OF EUROPE.
RANKED.

By Nonna, who was not asked to do this but did it anyway. Scores out of 100. Higher is better. Nonna will not respond to disputes.

★ THE GOOD ★
01
Egyptian Cotton, hand-folded, scented with Lenzuola al Sole
Type: Aspirational · Location: Yours, eventually
98SUBLIME
02
A hotel towel in Lake Como, June, late morning
Type: Borrowed · Location: Suspicious
94CRIMINAL
03
Your grandmother’s linen cupboard, opened slowly
Type: Inherited · Location: Memory
91EMOTIONAL
04
A white Turkish cotton from a small shop in Galata
Type: Discovered · Location: Istanbul
86CORRECT
05
The towel the guest did not comment on, but used twice
Type: Telling · Location: Bathroom
81QUIET WIN
★ THE BAD ★
42
A grey towel
Type: Confession · Location: Your bathroom, possibly
19A FEELING
43
A microfiber "quick-dry" towel
Type: Functional · Location: A gym bag
8A MISTAKE
44
A printed novelty towel from a souvenir shop
Type: Cry for help · Location: Plovdiv
2NO
45
A towel that smells like 2012
Type: Time crime · Location: Probably the trunk of a car
1EXPELLED
CORRECT YOUR SITUATION